Porn will tell you when it’s too much

When thinking about consensual sexual porn, many people immediately think of how sadistic or masochistic you have to be to have a “rape fetish.” And maybe some people would get out of jail for sexual porn. But some people, like me, only enjoy playing games with partners they communicate with extensively and trust in a safe environment.

Why? Because if not done right, it can quickly cross the line into sexual porn and it stops being fun. It quickly goes from  fun to not fun, but your partner may not understand because you have  to fight or say “no.”

Aftercare

Aftercare is just as important as everything else! As a new Mistress I had never heard of aftercare, but no matter what position you play, aftercare is very important, especially if you plan to play with that person again. Aftercare can be anything from cuddles and gentle touches afterward to hugs and kisses, but the most important thing is communication. What did you like? What did you not like? Was it too aggressive/not aggressive enough? Did you feel relieved? What could you improve? When you feel bad, sad, or hurt, it’s important to take a step back and understand what went wrong. No matter what games you play, you should never feel bad after a gaming session. That’s why communication before and after is so important. You need a certain level of trust in your partner. As sex porn, you need to know that your top won’t go too far, but as a top, you need to be able to trust that sex porn will tell you when it’s too much. Just like with any other type of game, you need to be able to commit to playing it this way. It’s not the time to practice strong masochism, because the chances that it’s no longer fun are already too high. 

Why Sex Porn? 

It seems complicated, right? So why would anyone want to play like that? There are articles and blogs here dealing with dom/sub relationships and sadism/masochism, but none of them fully capture the nuances of sexual porn. My motto is, “I’m not a weak woman, I’m a freak woman.” I see myself as a strong, confident woman who is invincible, and who will not be pushed around or trampled on. So why should I indulge in games like this? The idea that I can safely cede control to someone who is “hopelessly” hungry for me is both incredibly sexual porn to me, and a healthy way to deal with past sexual acts. Porn (at least according to my therapist). I’m a Switch user, and sometimes I enjoy the degradation, humiliation, and masochism this game brings. 

I can’t speak for those who enjoy playing out the scenarios, but I think that’s what it is: complete control over someone in a more advanced way than just a domination scenario with a willing participant. 

Conclusion

Sexual porn is an outlet for anyone with any kind of fetish or preference. Some are more common than others, but as long as it’s truly consensual, *no one* should feel embarrassed about participating in this kind of play. Gaming should be fun for all involved, and should always be done safely and with partners you trust and have a relationship with. I can’t stress this enough: there’s nothing worse than feeling bad after playing without having fun. This kind of play takes an emotional toll, which is another reason why aftercare is so important, whatever that may be for you.